by Jens Kirschner
From the Satvatove Archive:
In February 2006 I visited the Satvatove communication and transformation seminars. Till that time I considered myself as intelligent, self-confident, male and superior. I was able to express myself very well and convince others about my views. Discussions were battles for me that I wanted to win. Based on what I had heard about the Foundational Course, I did not consider it to be of great importance for me. I looked at the Advanced Course as a challenge.
In both courses I experienced completely new patterns and ways of dealing with myself and other people. Already in the Foundational Seminar I felt shaken, confused, weak and needy. Several times I wanted to run away as I was rediscovering my emotional personality. At the end of the Advanced Seminar I had decided to leave my job as a police officer, as my newly discovered “soft” side didn’t seem to fit that occupation anymore. However, at the start of the course we had agreed not to make major life decisions till at least two weeks after the end of the seminar, so I remained in my job.
After the courses I developed a new kind of self-confidence. I’ve reflected on myself and have learnt to accept other people with different opinions. I’ve learned to care about myself and in doing so I’ve also learned to show my environment that I care. I wouldn’t say my life is easier now. In some ways it has become more difficult since I’ve started to genuinely take responsibility for my life. But I have so much more energy available now and for the first time in my life I really feel alive.
My personal change has definitely affected my work as a police officer. Colleagues and citizens feel understood by me, valued and accepted. They have expressed how they have noticed and appreciate the shift in my character. I now feel much safer in my dealings as a policeman. Conflict situations are much less about me personally. In recent months, due to awareness of myself and attentiveness to be empathic in communication, I have encountered only one situation where a citizen resisted my actions in my law enforcement capacity.
In that special case I acted with fierce determination, while simultaneously considerate towards the offender. He was aggressive, and a threat to other young men present, as well as to myself and other police officers. To protect everyone involved I acted quickly and firmly. I did this with calm, with clear intention not to harm. I forced the offender to the ground, and the situation was efficiently resolved. Afterwards I helped the young man to his feet and with gentleness explained about further procedures. My colleagues were amazed that the encounter ended in an almost friendly mood between everyone. Instead of leaving police work, I am endeavoring to integrate my discovered qualities and personal communication strategies into this vocation, and the results have been deeply rewarding.