Tag: resentment

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GRATITUDE

“The more you become a connoisseur of gratitude, the less you are the victim of resentment, depression, and despair… The sense of gratitude produces true spiritual alchemy, makes us magnanimous- large souled.”
Sam Keen

CONTINUE READING GRATITUDE

SUSPEND COMPARISONS

It sounds to me like you’re judging yourself, harshly, for the relationship you have with your mother. I suggest that comparing it to what you term a ‘normal’ relationship may not be particularly productive, or healthy. Perhaps a helpful starting point will be to accept your relationship with your mother for what it is, without judging it, without putting expectations on it…

CONTINUE READING SUSPEND COMPARISONS

EXCELLENCE & PERFECTION

“Demanding perfection assumes some external standard and definition of perfection. Such a mentality, combined with ourselves and the world not conforming to this standard, is the source of a variety of distressing emotional and cognitive states. A consciousness of striving for excellence perceives perfection in the process of life itself as it unfolds and manifests, without needing to adhere to some externally defined conception of perfection. Striving for excellence is consistent with giving fully, be-do-have, and all the strategies for living. In such a consciousness we naturally support and challenge ourselves and others to ever-higher and deeper levels of character and performance.”

CONTINUE READING EXCELLENCE & PERFECTION

UNDERLYING NEEDS

“I think that payoffs point to, or indicate, needs. Like, beneath judgment, and the avoidance of responsibility, might be a need to feel safe, and secure, a need to feel worthy and valuable. Of course the blame game is not an effective means to meet such needs, but it may be an attempt to do so. Reactively judging others, putting them in neat little boxes, can be an attempt to protect myself, to provide myself the illusion that I am controlling, and understanding. In reality my fears are controlling me, and I am closing myself off to deeper understanding. By blaming you, making you wrong, I get to feel right, superior. This is a shadow attempt to satisfy needs for self-worth.”

CONTINUE READING UNDERLYING NEEDS