FROM NEW ZEALAND TO FLORIDA: SATVATOVE 3

Satvatove 3 is comprised of deep spiritual truths.

I feel I now have the most established and tangible sense of peace with myself and gratitude for my lot, that I have ever had. Since the course, life has brought me a couple of disturbances, things which before would have bothered me for some time; and I found I was able to completely move on from these and return to happiness, gratitude and peace, very quickly.

It is as if my innate being has become set in a higher level of awareness and appreciation.

I came to glean how having expectations of people, especially those most dear to me, inhibits relationships. No other course of personal development has been so effective in causing me to drop expectations of others. I have experienced an about-turn in attitude toward my loved ones.

Rather than expecting gratification or anything from them, my heart now wants to live for their gratification. This heartfelt transformation in attitude that has come upon me has widened love channels and enabled a higher quality of intimacy and affection to flow between others and I.

Responsibility is a very creative thing which I have denied and shirked in my life.

I had a spouse whom after many years I felt had let me down and failed to reciprocate what I gave to the relationship; and for some years I complained bitterly about this. Now, my tale of injustice and letdown has lost its validity, its righteousness.

I now see from within that in my overall course of soul-evolution, my encounter with my spouse was not only meant to be, but was auspicious and beneficial. I have no grounds for grudge or making him wrong. Contentment and sobriety is gained from realising that I am responsible for my own life experience, and always have been.

Finding that I have the option to choose that which is inevitable in life is exhilarating.

Actually choosing the things I can’t change, enables me to function far more happily and effectively with that which fortune allots. For example, in being a woman, if I choose to be a woman, that gives

me a unique grip on my situation, and enhances my sense of satisfaction.

In this human experience, expression is part of what we are comprised. I believe expression is not something to be taken for granted, but rather something to always be improving. Something which has inhibited my expression is the feeling that someone is judging or disapproving of me or thinking what I am saying is silly.

Satvatove 3 helped me recognize my strengths in expression, as well as other areas, and it has diminished inhibitions caused by real or imagined judgements.

During Satvatove 3 I got present to a tone of boldness in my voice, which often I have unconsciously allowed to permeate my speech, to conceal my vulnerability, nervousness or uncertainty. I used to hide behind this tone of boldness or bravado in my voice, and now I do not do this anymore. Now, I feel safe and free to expose the beauty of my God-created genuineness.

In sincere communication, one needs to articulate and convey what one is feeling.

For me to do this, it is first necessary to identify for myself what I am experiencing. If I identify what I am experiencing, that is the first step in communicating it accurately to others. The exercises in Satvatove 3 enabled me to connect on a moment to moment basis with my inner being from where my feelings come.

In identifying and connecting with my feelings, I can decide if the feeling is valid or not, and deal with it in an appropriate way. Without this process, I used to become consumed by a build-up of unconscious feelings and inner experiences, from which would stem general worry or stress, the cause to which I could not readily pinpoint.

I am markedly more conscious of my inner being. Life has become an inner adventure as I watch myself from moment to moment; watch myself watching and listening to others; see and identify what I am experiencing; and from that standpoint, make my choices as to how to feel, respond and speak. It is a matter of gaining control of one’s mind, which means gaining control of one’s experience of life.

Considerable peace has come to me in relinquishing the drama of life.

I’ve become freed to see myself more clearly, and thus guide myself to make clearer choices, to give input where I want and need to and not where I don’t, and to have a truer encounter with life’s situations.

It might seem like stating the obvious to say that, what I say to myself that I want, I actually want. But it was brought to my attention in Satvatove 3 that in fact I did not possess a readiness to accept what I declared I wanted. I was dismayed to find that there were areas in which I have been stating I want growth and advancement, but have been being deceitful with myself at a hidden level.

While other personal development and communication training has had me cleanse the house by sweeping under the carpets, dusting beneath the furniture and clearing out the closets, Satvatove 3 had me venturing down into the cellars and hidden vaults, and finding that there lurked unseen ghosts and dirty creatures, which were subtly subverting my good intentions in communicating authentically with others, achieving my goals, experiencing peace and contentment, and even growing spiritually.

What a Peter and a Judas I have been, telling myself I want peace and spiritual advancement, yet inwardly clinging to my own vices, impairing my own growth. With this self-cheating exposed by the processes in Satvatove 3, the way is now much clearer to achieve my personal goals and deepen spiritually.

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