Excerpt From Relationships That Work: The Power Of Conscious Living
– By David B. Wolf
There is an important distinction between the consciousness of having, and the principle of placing our consciousness in the result. Consciousness in the result is situated on the platform of being. When we place our consciousness in the result, we set the intention as empowered spiritual beings. Then we simply and effectively handle any so-called ‘obstacles’ that present themselves.
The having consciousness is not fixed in being, nor does it trust that our being is complete, balanced and whole. This frame of mind lacks the conviction that the intrinsic nature of the self is a foundation and wellspring of all auspiciousness. With consciousness in the result, we are commitment-driven, rather than history-driven. Commitment-driven means that our vision moves us, inspires our action and connects us with our being. History-driven means being limited by our past; our past experiences and results determine and constrain what is possible now and in our future. My past level of happiness, fulfillment, relationship satisfaction and financial success determines what I believe is possible for me now and into the future. Commitment-driven consciousness recognizes that “till now,” I may have experienced myself as weak, hopeless, a victim, bitter and limited in my achievements by various beliefs and circumstances; but from now on I am a vibrant, successful, inspiring person who boldly declares and manifests his vision.
This is not a process of pushing down the emotional beach ball while trying to think positively. It is cultivating the habit of experiencing the qualities of our spirit. In developing this way of being, it follows naturally that we fully experience whatever emotion surfaces, without denying or resisting it. Simultaneously, we can apply clear intention to create the experience that we want. While acknowledging and experiencing my insecurity, for example, I can manifest clear intention to bring to life feelings of confidence and security. Or, while recognizing that I am feeling stuck and awkward, I can put consciousness in the result to experience spontaneity and openness.
Being compassionate with yourself is one of the keys to unlocking your being. Empathy means connecting with someone
where he or she is—and this includes yourself. By accepting and even embracing that I am feeling frightened, I also open up to my courage. By recognizing my selfishness, I am able to appreciate my giving and selfless nature.
As we become expert in this process we may find that grungy states and rackets that formerly lasted for days or weeks may now only be with us for minutes or hours. Simple remembrance of our spiritual nature is also an effective means to achieve a transcendental perspective of healthy, empathic non-attachment toward whatever emotional drama we may be experiencing. Of course, this is understood in the context that emotions such as sadness, anger and hurt, are sometimes natural, and not necessarily grungies.
In defining our commitments, it is helpful to remember that it’s okay to “do our best” in some instances, without specific commitment to a goal. There is an organic process of learning from our actions and reevaluating goals. However, sometimes we want to declare and commit, to ensure that we write the script of our life. Steadfast commitment to a worthy goal moves us to exhibit our finest qualities and reveal the best side of our characters. As Goethe said, “First build a proper goal. The proper goal will make it easy, almost automatic, to build a proper you.”