Posts Tagged ‘self-realization’
RELATIONSHIPS THAT WORK RADIO SHOW- August 18
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Hear how dedication to self-realization forms the basis for fulfilling relationships. In this episode of the Relationships That Work Radio Hour Dr. David Wolf explains the foundations for vibrant and growing relations. All this is integrated with interactive coaching on life-enriching principles such as clear intention, consciousness in the result, and the art and science of being 100% responsible for our experience of self, life and relationships.
SILENCE
“Silence means that one is always thinking of self-realization.”
A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami
3rd Level Seminar
Satvatove 3: An Adventure In Conscious Living
Inaugural Seminar Experience in North Florida
September 23rd – 26th, 2010
Developed and Facilitated by David B Wolf & Marie Glasheen
A Sharing Circle
Written By: Fayenen Lathrenwen
A thought flashes across my mind! Of my own accord I’ve chosen to catalyse and organise a seminar, and not just any seminar, but the first-ever Satvatove 3: An Adventure in Conscious Living! What has gotten into me! Am I mad or just a glutton for punishment?
Suddenly, I hear the question, ‘Who would like to share?’ and I know that I do…
So here goes!
The simple thought of this seminar immediately awakens in me many varied feelings, thoughts and experiences. I get butterflies in my tummy at the thought of what this seminar experience will bring into my life personally – all the life-enriching realisations, challenges, transformations, and gifts! My heart goes all a-flutter with excitement as each day brings this seminar closer and more and more people are registering, saying that they’re in. My eyes light up as I envision the lasting transformation and change that will be generated in that small span of time, not just for the few of us in that room but also for the many people we will personally touch in our lives. And I also feel an immense sense of gratitude within me for this opportunity for personal transformation and spiritual alchemy.
I am catalysing and organising this seminar, essentially, because I personally believe that the journey of transformation and self-realisation never ends – there is always room for plants to be watered, weeds to be pulled, and fields to be cultivated. As I share this I suddenly notice how much ‘be-ing’ there is in the watering, pulling and cultivating process! Accordingly, in this upcoming Adventure in Conscious Living, I am eager to dive deeply into the experience of conscious living, to further integrate the principles of transformative communication, and to become steadier in my connection to my authentic being. I look forward to participating in this transformational journey in the company, and with the support, of other shining seeking souls.
I thought to extend the question ‘Who would like to share?’ to both David and Marie.
David stood up first, and despite his natural equipoise and quiet demeanour, there was a sense of eager anticipation sparkling all through him. In his steady yet expressive voice he said:
Envisioning the faces of Advanced Course graduates from across the globe and years, I wonder, “Who will be there with me?” Who will get on board for the first voyage of Satvatove 3: An Adventure in Conscious Living? Who will join this team of pioneers? I’m feeling an excitement similar to that just before the first Foundational, and the inaugural Advanced. I’m eager to explore with you the depths of transformative communication, of self-realization, of dedication to living with mastery. In Satvatove, of course, “explore” means mega-experiential.
See you there, David.
Then, once David had taken his seat, Marie leaped up with all the joie de vivre that she carries within her. With her intriguing French accent and loving heart, Marie shared:
I too remember the first group who embarked on the Advanced Course adventure. The intensity of the experience stands out; the freshness and magic forever imprinted in our minds and hearts. My excitement grows as participants register for Satvatove 3: An Adventure in Conscious Living. I’m really eager to see who will get to say, “I was at the first one ever.” I know I’ll be there, learning, absorbing, and stretching myself. A recent Advanced Seminar graduate described his experience as “Living as the soul”. That is what I’m ready for in this 3rd level course, a soul felt experience that moves me to the core, touches my heart profoundly, and inspires me to soar to heights as yet unknown. Come and join us, expanding possibilities for what it means to be a spiritual being having a human experience.
With anticipation, Marie.
As Marie takes her seat, and as I get ready to bid each of you adieu, I am reminded of a quote by Rumi that speaks to me of the sacred space within a Satvatove seminar room. I share it with you in the spirit of seeing you soon in such a space, somewhere along our individual journeys of life and transformation.
“Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there…”
Registration Requirements:
- Completion of the Foundational Transformative Communication & Self Empowerment Seminar
- Completion of the Advanced Seminar Experience
For Registration Please Contact:
Fayenen Lathrenwen
email: fayenen@satvatove.com
UK tel: (0044) 203 239 9119
US tel: (001) 352 538 6239
Limited Spaces Available!
Transformative Communication
The Satvatove programs feature an approach to self-empowerment based on transformative communication. This model is founded on the understanding that our identity is fundamentally non-material. This identity beyond the physical body is indicated in spiritual literatures such as the widely known yoga scripture Bhagavad-gita, which states “As the embodied soul continuously passes, in this body, from boyhood to youth to old age, the soul similarly passes into another body at death.” To be satisfying and complete, our self-help endeavors need to recognize this non-physical self. It is common to lose this awareness. Soren Kierkegaard once stated, “The greatest danger, that of losing one’s own self, may pass off quietly as if it were nothing; every other loss, that of an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, is sure to be noticed.”
Through the Satvatove system of transformative communication we create a sacred space, in ourselves and in relation with others, that links us with our spiritual nature. Consciousness is transformed as trust is developed, perspectives shift and possibilities expand.
Language reflects consciousness. Through transformative communication we become self-aware through language. This awareness is the basis for powerful personal change, which is then reflected in our thoughts, speech and activities. For example, I may notice that in my thoughts and words I frequently use “I can’t…” in circumstances where, in actuality, I could if I chose to. Realizing this I shift to “I am not willing to…” or “I am inspired to…” This is accompanied by a transformation from feeling powerless and down to experiencing vitality and confidence, and is evinced in potent action that generates fulfilling results in my life. Similarly, awareness of my tendency to prematurely give solutions, or probe with closed-ended questions, leads to discovery of an unhealthy need to control. With such self-realization I shift my consciousness to emphasize an attitude of wonder and discovery for life and each person I contact.
To effectively apply transformative communication it is important to distinguish between skills and substance. For example, there are skills for non-verbal attending behavior, such as:
Sitting squarely
Open-body position
Leaning forward slightly
Eye-contact
These are mechanics intended to convey respect and sincere interest in another person. The mechanics themselves do not necessarily mean that we are attentive and caring listeners, and sometimes effective listening is best displayed without the elements of SOLE. Reflective listening is a technique to express empathy, though an accurate reflection on its own does not intrinsically communicate the quality of empathy. Empathy is the substance. Reflective listening is a vehicle to transmit that substance. We speak of potential roadblocks to effective communication, such as advising, warning and reassuring. While these types of responses to a person with an emotionally-charged situation can often be barriers to communication, they can also convey compassion, understanding and empathy when appropriately utilized. In self-expression, assertiveness is the essential quality, and strategies such as “I” statements and WIN (What happened; Inside feelings and thoughts; Needs and wants) facilitate the expression of that essence.
In the trusting space created with transformative communication, we can clear our hearts and activities of unwanted things, such as self-deception, limiting beliefs, and interpersonal games that sabotage relationships. Such clearing opens the door to fully express our being and actualize a life of fulfilling purpose.
Christian philosopher Paul Tillich once remarked “The first duty of love is to listen.” A powerful tool for listening and transformative communication is silence. Properly used, silence conveys a grasp of another person’s emotions. While we do not want to use silence to avoid intimate and meaningful conversation, neither is it helpful to avoid silence due to feelings of discomfort. Often we fill silence with empty talk, fearing the vulnerability of silent connection. An attentive, caring silence is sometimes a more powerful way to heal and connect than the most carefully chosen and well-intentioned words. Actual silence means that the mind is also still. Silence doesn’t mean “empty”. It is a gateway to and manifestation of spiritual presence. Bhaktivedanta Swami wrote “Silence means that one is always thinking of self-realization.” It is said that God has given us two ears and one mouth, because we are meant to listen at least twice as much as to speak. Bhagavad-gita explains that true silence is a reflection of the divine within us. In empathic silence we are listening to what the other person is saying, not to what we are saying about what the other person is saying. That is, we are attuned to the person’s words and the emotion and intention behind the words, not to our judgments, planned responses, or comments towards the expression of the other. We are deeply listening, receiving another person with full presence, intense interest and open-heart. Such listening expands the spirits of speaker and listener.
Michael Ende created the character of Momo, a young girl whose silent presence connected people with their inner truth and transformed their consciousness. Daily Momo received a stream of visitors, eager for her association. Ende writes “Was Momo so incredibly bright that she always gave good advice, or found the right words to console people in need of consolation,…? No, she was no more capable of that than anyone else of her age. … what Momo was better at than anyone else was listening. She listened in a way that made slow-witted people have flashes of inspiration. It wasn’t that she actually said anything or asked questions that put such ideas into their heads. She simply sat there and listened with the utmost attention…fixing them with her big, dark eyes, and they suddenly became aware of ideas whose existence they had never suspected. Momo could listen in such a way that worried and indecisive people knew their own minds from one moment to the next, or shy people felt suddenly confident and at ease, or downhearted people felt happy and hopeful. And if someone felt that his life had been an utter failure, and that he himself was only one among millions of wholly unimportant people who could be replaced as easily as broken windowpanes, he would go and pour out his heart to Momo. And, even as he spoke, he would come to realize…he was absolutely wrong: that there was only one person like himself in the whole world, and that, consequently, he mattered to the world in his own particular way. Such was Momo’s talent for listening………Those who still think that listening isn’t an art should see if they can do it half as well.”
Consciousness is reflected in language, and language is not only verbal. There is kinesic and paralinguistic language. We see in the example of Momo the power of deep listening to convey empathy, hope and caring.
Below are exercises to help you cultivate and integrate tools for transformative communication.
For a few days observe how frequently you use empathic understanding in your communication style. After a few days, without being inauthentic or preoccupied with the effort, increase your use of reflective listening. Notice the impact of your use of empathy on others and on the process of communication.
Identify an interpersonal scenario in your life. Imagine you are making a statement about something that is troubling you, and then, taking the role of the person you are speaking with, write three responses, using different roadblocks. Use the roadblocks to which you are most susceptible. Consider the effect of the responses, and identify how each roadblock makes you feel. Then, formulate an empathic response for the scenario.
Example: A course participant approaching her teacher about the behavior of a third.
“I really think you need to speak with him one-on-one. I think he’s doing things that are not conducive for a healthy lifestyle.”
Roadblock response 1: “I think that you should be careful about telling me what to do, or else you may be the one I will want to talk to.” (threatening, warning)
Roadblock response 2: “Oh, he’ll be okay. Don’t worry.” (false reassurance)
Roadblock response 3: “You just go and tell him what you think and how he has to change!” (ordering)
Empathic response: “It is distressing for you to see that he is doing things that may be harmful for him. I can see that you”re concerned about him, and you”d like me to speak with him.”
