“In expressing our innate qualities we are able to produce extraordinary results in our lives.”

David B. Wolf

“My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet.”

Mahatma Gandhi

I was resistant and skeptical to the idea of this at first. However, the reality of the immeasurable value of the course became apparent within the first three hours of the first day of the Foundational Seminar… This course has awakened potential within me I forgot I had. I want more! I would recommend it to everyone! Thank you!

Satvatove, Foundational Course, January 2010
Gainesville, Florida

It’s not a joke. Whatever preconceived notions you have about seminars that say they can change your life, throw them out the door. This is a real thing. The life you want is attainable through this. I walked in here thinking that I had been duped into paying for a fake motivational course. I am walking out with a newfound look on life- A new paradigm that never existed for me before. My confidence and trust in myself is soaring. This course far and beyond exceeded my expectations and has made me a new person. I feel like I found me!

Satvatove, Foundational Course, January 2010
Gainesville, Florida

Read some comments from graduates of the recent Satvatove Vrndavana experience.

After the Foundational Seminar S. K. Boehm commented “It was a mind-blowing experience.” And after the Advanced Seminar Experience she wrote “The Satvatove Advanced Seminar opened new dimensions of myself to me. I am now able to do things I thought to be impossible before. I got some great tools for communication and relationships. I realized that I have much unused potential in myself, which I am now going to apply in my life.”

Stefano, father of Sanaka (who organized these Vrndavana seminars), expressed:

“Thank you for allowing me to participate in the Satvatove courses in Vrndavana. This was a kind of journey inside myself. Due to my intense desire to change and the great help of Sanaka, I experienced amazing results. The most important result for me- it was feeling my heart opening to the love for my son. I found my son after 32 years.”

And Maria, Sanaka’s mother, shared: “During my life I have tried many things in the attempt to overcome my self-destructive mental and emotional tendencies and habits. The Satvatove seminar was the most powerful healing experience to date; it was an amazing journey that brought me from the darkness of my heart to the light of my genuine healthy self. I experienced the seminar as a sort of rebirth, guided and supported by loving, dedicated and qualified people.”

Priya, who travelled from Florida to India for the courses, wrote “…I had a magical experience with all of you…”

A sannyasi is a member of the renounced order of life in the Vedic spiritually-based social system. We had a sannyasi in the Vrndavana courses- Visnu Swami, who shared:

“I feel really good after the Satvatove Experience. In the beginning when David was talking about transformation I thought that it was just a catchy way to sell the Satvatove advanced course. But to my pleasant surprise I feel transformed. The entire world looks different now. I feel more confident, balanced and capable then I ever did. I feel that now with clear intention and…accountability, actually with just everything from Satvatove, I can achieve anything. For a long time I ‘ve been wanting to get a few things established in my day and life, like an exercise program, reading and studying etc and now I am actually doing them. I am not stressed out all the time like I used to be. …The whole experience has just been magical. And being with this special group made it even better. I really don’t think it would have been the same magic with a different group….I got in a little disagreement with my little brother. I hurt his feelings. I was annoyed with him and he was annoyed with me. Normally when this happens I just say something that makes me feel that I am the ‘good guy’ and that makes me feel that I am right, we would ignore what happened and forget about it (or pretend to forget about it). But this time I busted out the Satvatove stuff and really listened to him and reflected. It worked!! The bad feelings all disappeared and we had an amazingly close connection with each other. It was great!!”

From Bimala Naysmith, about the Foundational Seminar- “I had already participated in the Foundational before, so I somewhat knew what to expect. I don’t think though I had anticipated how much I would realise this time round. I definitely feel this really is the beginning for me…”

And about his Advanced Course experience- “The Advanced Course really allowed me to get in touch with myself- Allowing me to communicate and understand others around me in a far deeper and richer way. I have already used some of the tools in my communication with my partner and understand where she is coming from and what she is saying…”

Jay:

Foundational- “I can see how if the number of people with these tools increased, so would the quality of communication…”

Advanced- “… I have never cried so much. I have never laughed so much. I have never danced so much. I miss the experience in all its intensity, fear, and joy. I felt so safe and vulnerable at the same time. It was a challenge for me to break through the numbness and though I did not feel as successful as others, that was my challenge: to fight that numbness and learn more about myself regardless. What a grand group of people to have on that journey!

“Though it is too soon to honestly know the true difference, I definitely feel a change between the person I was walking in, and the person I was walking out. …I feel like I got more of an idea of what I want out of life and who I am as a person. …Thank you once again for my experience. I have shared with so many people the alternative perspective you brought about, especially taking responsibility for the choices I make…”

Celine:

I had a breakthrough during a debate (one could even say argument;o)) …where at first neither of us wanted to get into the other’s world, so we just kept emphasizing our own point/experience. The conversation was going downhill fast and I realized that I could choose to get into his world.  I knew it would make him feel happy and understood. However, my ego didn’t want to because I was worried that my point wouldn’t be heard in the end, or would end up being minimized if I understood and valued his….:o)  BUT I decided to do some reflective listening anyway, and I actually ended up finding it quite fun. As he got more and more happy and felt more and more understood, I found myself actually loving it and getting really into the empathy of it.   By the end I was shocked to find that I didn’t even care about my point being heard, and EVEN more shocking is that by the end of it I didn’t even care much about my point altogether; It no longer mattered to me as much as it had at first……and I felt uplifted…… So I will try this again, especially when I am attached to not letting go of my view/point….I’ll even gather the courage to try it with those close to me, where it is needed most, and yet harder to do. I’ll risk my point not being valued, in order to create a space where those close to me feel honored, and their point valued……..”

Recently I spent time with a friend who a few days previously experienced a traumatic interpersonal and intrapersonal event. A few hours into our day he expressed that he feels for the first time since the episode that he is “stepping out of the drama of what happened”. This caused me to reflect on my own absorption in life’s drama, and on the distinction between living life and living in the drama of life.

Of course life has its natural adventure, full of color and emotion. I distinguish this from “drama”, in the sense of something external to the stuff of life itself. We cling to drama in a shadow attempt to experience the richness and excitement of living. In distancing himself from the whirlpool of the drama, my friend described a significant shift of experience, from lamentation to genuine compassion, for all involved, himself included. He was able to see lucid spiritual purpose, and practical lessons for his growth as a person, behind the unfolding of events. Also he realized the extent to which he was invested in continuing the drama, to get payoffs such as attention, sympathy, feeling right, and an excuse for not courageously moving forward with life.

Bhagavad-gita, one of my favorite books of wisdom, describes the lotus consciousness, where we are in the world though not influenced by the drama of it, as the lotus is in the water though simultaneously untouched by it. This state of being is free from lament about the past, and hankering for a particular future. Fully present in the present, we live with a sense of urgency. Urgency does not mean crisis, nor panic and anxiety. It is living in the moment (not for the moment)- a constant commitment to creating life-enriching value.

This lotuslike state evinces caring non-attachment. To the extent that we cultivate such a way of being we empower others to rise above the fray on the dramatic stage, and connect with the true life of the self. This shift of consciousness represents genuine spiritual progress, as we identify ourselves as the spiritual entities we are, transcendent to the physical, mental and intellectual platforms.

It would be a misconception to think that such a drama-free paradigm is dry or empty. In fact, such a misunderstanding of the reality of spiritual existence is why many people hold on tightly to the ephemeral drama, thinking it essential for a sense of vitality. Actually, authentic spiritual experience is sublimely diverse, alive and vibrant, the pure form of what we seek without fulfillment in preoccupation with dramas. In fact, Sanjaya, the narrator of Bhagavad-gita, described it as a “thrill at every moment.”

Let’s consider in what environments, and in which relationships, we tend to be living life, and where we tend towards enacting a drama. With such awareness we can notice the difference in experience. From there we can choose increased living, and decreased drama, where we think that it will serve us and others.

In The Beginning Was The Word

Just as the supreme creates with the word, we too create our lives with our word. Self-reflection is a core principle in personal growth, and it can be especially illuminating to consider our relationship with our word. In the Vedic tradition there is a literature called Upadeshamrita, or The Nectar of Instruction. The book concludes with a depiction of the most elevated spiritual consciousness, and it starts with a description of the importance of effective management of our words, for anyone interested in spiritual progress.

In the transformative communication seminars that I conduct we ask participants to examine the effects of kept and broken agreements. Typically, experiences and feelings connected with violated agreements include hurt, embarrassment, anger, betrayal, confusion, lack of clarity, disappointment and feeling devalued. Agreements honored are usually related with experiences such as trust, gratitude, responsibility, fulfillment, security, clarity, and respect. The purpose of such examination is not to moralize about the importance of keeping our promises. It’s about realizing how our relationship with our word affects our experience of life.

In this regard I suggest that there aren’t big or small agreements. Consider, for example, that I say, “I’ll call you tomorrow,” and I don’t call. We may think, “It’s no big deal.” With respect to our relationship, however, will the consequences noted above be in effect? Probably they will. At some level, your trust for me will likely diminish, and our relationship will be less whole.

Commitment is essential for self-development. Without it, we’re likely not going to significantly expand our possibilities and comfort zone. When we make agreements, we’ll probably find that, despite our best efforts, we sometimes don’t follow through. A strategy for handling broken agreements with integrity is a valuable tool for restoring relationships.

The Five As

An effective approach is the “five As”, which are 1) Acknowledge, 2) Accept responsibility, 3) Account, 4) Apologize, and 5) Amend. “Acknowledge” means to recognize that we have a broken agreement, and to express this to the person whom we transgressed. Accepting responsibility, the second of the As, denotes realization that I responded in a particular way that caused me to not honor my word. The third A is Account. Expression of accountability consists of genuinely explaining what happened. Apology is the fourth A, and it’s noteworthy that it’s fourth, not first. Oftentimes we act like apology is the first and only step in effectively handling a broken agreement. “I’m sorry” can be more about my need to restore my image, than about sincerely reinstating the soundness of the relationship. Amend is the fifth A, and consists of actively redressing the situation.

A Culture Of Trust

‘Tis a season for making resolutions, when we consider things we can do to better our lives. This is a powerful opportunity to enhance the culture of trust in our relationships, and within ourselves. My proposal is that we invoke special awareness of the effects in our life and relationships when we make an agreement and keep it.

Dear Friends,

Warm greetings in this holiday season.

We’re happy to offer you opportunities to give some special gifts to people dear to you, in the form of Satvatove books, CDs and personal coaching.

Give the gift of Satvatove personal coaching, for yourself and others in your life. Consider the impact for the next year, and for a lifetime, of the expert and caring support that you get with Satvatove coaching. Can you think of some habits you’d like to integrate to powerfully move forward in your life? What about habits to give up, to be more effective and potent in achieving your goals? What would it mean to you to get real clear on your goals and aspirations, in your career, primary relationship, health and spiritual practice? Raise your awareness and live your vision with a Satvatove coach on your team.

All Coaching Packages at 50% discount for the month of December, 2008.

For more information or to register for a coaching package, write to us at Coaching@Satvatove.org or call us at 386 418 8840.

Plus- During this holiday period, with each coaching package you receive a copy of Relationships That Work: The Power of Conscious Living- How Transformative Communication Can Change Your Life, and the CD,

7 Principles For Fulfilling Relationships!!!

Satyen Raja, President of WarriorSage and author of Living Ecstasy, commented on Relationships That Work:

“…a book that gives us the practical tools, ideas and real shifts in our habits that will propel ALL our relationships into a rich and rewarding way of life. What’s really wonderful is the Heart and Depth that comes through from David, which gets transferred into the reader and that certainly pays off in Big wins for your Family, Career and Spiritual Life. Read and Devour it and watch your Life Bloom with more ease and clarity.”

Peter Burwash, Founder of Peter Burwash International and author of several books including The Key to Great Leadership and Total Health, wrote:

“If we do not understand whom we really are, then our life becomes a major struggle. David Wolf has been able to explain not only who we are but he has also given us paths to elevate our consciousness and help us on our way to a more productive, happy existence.”

Relationships That Work: The Power of Conscious Living

1 copy- $14.95

3 copies- $38

5 copies- $55

10 copies- $100

Order at:

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With each book purchase, you receive a copy of 7 Principles for Fulfilling Relationships, for no extra cost.

“This book will touch the heart of every reader as it provides a roadmap for making positive changes in our dealings with other people, as well as within ourselves. David Wolf’s unique ability to blend spiritual knowledge with practical advice makes Relationships That Work: The Power of Conscious Living a must read for anyone seeking self-understanding and better communication with those they care most about. Reading this book forced me to pause and reflect about the nature of my own life; A worthy experience for anyone in today’s fast-paced modern world where doing and having often become facile substitutes for being.”

E. Burke Rochford Jr., Professor of Sociology and Religion, Middlebury College

“Sometimes you find a book, and sometimes a book finds you. There is no doubt that the profound wisdom and lessons in this book will find their way into the souls of millions of people around the world. No ifs, ands or buts – Dr. Wolf gives you the blueprint on how to be an influence-maker in your life and the lives of others.”

Burke Hedges, author of 7 books with over 4 million books in print, including the bestseller “Who Stole the American Dream?”

“This is an extraordinarily compelling and practical book on becoming a master of communication. Read it, apply the strategies and principles, and enhance your life and influence beyond what you thought possible!”

T. Harv Eker, author of the #1 NY Times Bestselling book Secrets of the Millionaire Mind

Order your copy of Relationships That Work at:

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We wish you joy and fulfillment this holiday season!

Sincerely,

The Satvatove Team

In this episode of the 7 principles for fulfilling relationships video series, the essential principles of clarity and responsibility are highlighted and desribed.

Author Advises How to Deal With “Desk Rage”
By Sheryl Silver

“If you’re on the receiving end of someone’s desk rage, understanding is a powerful tool to employ,” said Wolf. “If we can show that we understand what the person raging is saying, we can often diffuse the situation and help them deal with their grievance(s) in a calmer, more effective way.”

David B. Wolf, PhD, author
Relationships That Work: The Power of Conscious Living
You’ve probably heard of road rage — but what about “desk rage”? It’s a term used to describe the hostility and on-the-job outbursts people experience when they can no longer control their anger or cope with frustrations at work.

Desk rage isn’t a new phenomenon but according to David B. Wolf, PhD, author of Relationships That Work: The Power of Conscious Living, it appears to be on the rise.

“I don’t have statistics to document the increase in desk rage,” said Wolf, “but anecdotally, I am hearing about it more lately from managers with whom I do coaching.”

The stresses of the current economy may be a contributing factor. Besides rising fuel prices and lower home values, Wolf pointed out that after companies cut their employee ranks, as many have done recently, the remaining employees tend to inherit the tasks their terminated co-workers handled.

“Typically, these employees are asked to handle the increased workload with no increase in salary and no real expectation of job security,” said Wolf. “The situation is a recipe for frustration and a rise in desk rage.”

While Wolf says most people don’t handle desk rage well, he believes they can learn to cope more successfully with it by employing certain communication techniques.

For starters, Wolf said it’s important to remain emotionally neutral when an episode of desk rage occurs. “Sometimes the anger being expressed is about a third party — a boss, another co-worker. But even if the rage is directed at you, don’t react defensively,” said Wolf. “Take a deep breath, keep your voice low, and remember the person’s rage isn’t really about you.”

The key, according to Wolf, is not letting fear or your own anger take hold in such a situation. “If you’re on the receiving end of someone’s desk rage, understanding is a powerful tool to employ,” said Wolf. “If we can show that we understand what the person raging is saying, we can often diffuse the situation and help them deal with their grievance(s) in a calmer, more effective way.”

“Understanding, by the way, does not necessarily mean agreeing with the person,” added Wolf. “Sometimes we might think the person is justified in their anger but sometimes we don’t. How we respond to the person expressing the anger, however, is key to de-escalating the rage factor.”

“Mirroring” what the person is saying is one way to convey your understanding. This approach involves restating, as best you can, what you just heard the person say to you. For example, if the raging co-worker said, “You screwed up my presentation by not having the report I asked for. We’re going to lose this client thanks to you!” you could respond, “I know you’re furious. You’re upset I didn’t have the report you requested and think this could jeopardize our client contract.”

“This approach allows the outraged co-worker an opportunity to confirm that what you heard and understood was correct — or to say, No, that’s not what I said,” noted Wolf. “When this technique is utilized in labor/management negotiations, it’s helped to speed the result because it helps prevent misunderstanding while creating an atmosphere of understanding.”

What if you’re not on the receiving end of desk rage but feel as if you’re the person about to explode at work? Wolf recommends taking a deep breath and stating the facts of the situation upsetting you — minus any anger. For example, you might say, “The last time we met, you agreed to be at work on time daily and to call me if you were going to be late. Three days in the past week, you arrived more than a half hour late — and one of those delays was during a staff meeting when I really needed your assistance.”

Next, Wolf suggests using “I” statements to express how you feel. Regarding the previous situation, you might say, “I was frustrated by this and feel disrespected.” He suggests avoiding “you” statements such as “You made me angry.”

Finally, tell the person you’re annoyed with what you need or want, again using “I” statements. With the incident above, you could state, “I want an assistant who is respectful and responsible. I need you to honor your agreements.”

What’s the point of this approach? “We’re not denying our anger but by communicating in a less emotional and judgmental way, we’re maximizing the potential to have our concerns heard and acted upon positively,” said Wolf.